Over 85% of American adults practice oral sex, this includes fellatio, affectionately known as a blowjob. If you missed that memo, a blowjob is when you stimulate a penis with your mouth, such as sucking or licking. A blowjob offers a different type of sensation and diversity to your sex life. A mouth is wet and warm like a vagina with the added benefit of your tongue and lips being active, moving body parts that can elicit exquisite pleasure.
If you’ve never given a blowjob but are eager to please, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve laid out 15 helpful tips that will make your partner rate your blowjob skills 10/10.
15 Tips on Giving the Best Blowjob
Pleasure is personal, and so is the “best” blowjob. The ‘right’ techniques will vary depending on your partner’s sexual preferences. Here are some blowjob techniques that can help you satisfy your partner and help them achieve a mind-blowing orgasm.
Tease and tantalize
Bodies don’t always turn on like popular narratives would have us believe; yes, even men and penis owners might need a little TLC or foreplay to get in the mood for oral sex. Thankfully, there are many ways to tease and seduce. Building sexual tension in small ways throughout the day is a doable and playful start. Try sending a sexy selfie or a nude photo (with consent, of course), sexting, or talking dirty on the phone. If you’re in public or at dinner, whisper the things you’d like to happen later, sexy things you’d like to do to your partner, so your partner can start imagining and building up to that moment. It’s also best to focus on what turns him on, whether it’s touching a specific part of his body, flipping your hair, or looking at him with those smokey bedroom eyes.
Spend more time in foreplay
Some people consider blowjobs part of foreplay, but they can also be the main event. Like any other sexual activity, making time for foreplay can increase the sexual tension, excitement and make him crave your touch. Here are some foreplay tips and ideas that can help build sexual momentum and feelings of pleasure and satisfaction:
- Talk to your partner from your knees.
- Kiss your partner’s neck, shoulders, abdomen, and even penis to stimulate their erogenous zones.
- Gently massage their balls or perineum using your fingers.
- Pinch lightly up and down the shaft and tickle and graze the shaft with your fingernails.
- Use a male vibrator such as Crescendo.
Give attention to the frenulum
The frenulum is the most sensitive part of the penis for most men. It’s the underside of the head at tip of the penis, which contains nerve endings that connects the shaft and the head. Stimulating your partner’s frenulum can be the perfect way to begin a blowjob before involving the entire penis.
However, if your partner has been circumcised, a portion of their frenulum may have been removed, so circumcised penises might not feel sensations as intensely as uncircumcised penises. Experiment with different movements of your tongue and fingers to identify what gets your partner aroused. Try licking the frenulum lightly, in circles, laterally, or mixing it up. Stroke the frenulum gently up and down with a finger (we recommend lube for maximum comfort).
Keep your tongue loose and soft
Your tongue plays a huge part in giving a blowjob as it provides texture, warmth, wetness, and pleasurable moves that your partner can’t get from any other part of your body. Keeping your tongue soft and loose for most of the blowjob, especially when sucking or licking the sensitive parts of the penis, can help maximize sensations.
Get your hands involved
Blowjobs don’t mean your mouth has to do all the work. Bringing your hands into the mix can add other levels of sensation for you and your partner, whether it’s squeezing their testicles or wrapping one of your hands around their penis and moving it up and down. Using your hands in combination with your mouth can help you cover more surface area and provide different types of stimulation to your partner simultaneously. Try concentrating your mouth on the head of the penis and time your down movement with your hands upward stroke to meet in the middle for opposing sensations. Hands are also great additions if your mouth needs a break.
Spit on it
Lubrication helps lessen the friction of giving a blowjob to dry skin and will help with his comfort and your comfort, so we recommend lubricant. If you don’t have lube on standby, don’t be afraid to improvise and spit on your partner’s penis. Not only can this translate into heat-of-the-moment passion, but some men will also find this visceral visual highly attractive. Lubricant can help with any hand movements if you incorporate them.
Pro tip: Keep a glass or bottle of water nearby to keep your mouth from getting dry.
Switch up your speed
Although fast and aggressive movements with your mouth can help your partner climax faster, it doesn’t mean that you must perform at that fixed pace the entire time. Sometimes, setting a fast tempo can inadvertently make your partner feel like they are being rushed through pleasure, which could add pressure and take them out of the moment. Instead, switch up your speed and play with rhythm.
Starting slow is always a good idea since the penis is very sensitive. Motions that are too aggressive too quickly can have the opposite of their intended effect. Start with a slow, seductive pace, savoring every part of their penis. And as your partner adjusts to the gentle sensations and is ready for more, incorporate faster or more versatile motions with your mouth and hands.
Make eye contact
If eyes are the proverbial windows to the soul, then your eyes can speak volumes about how much you desire your partner, and everyone wants to feel desired. Eye contact is also very intimate, which is why some people shy away from it in the bedroom and beyond. However, eye contact can do wonders to increase intimacy and the feeling of being connected to your partner. Try sneaking a few coy glances up at your partner while you are pleasuring them, or give them long, drawn-out bedroom eyes, or alternate.
Try different positions
A common blowjob position is the submissive or kneeling position when you are on your knees and your partner is standing. However, if this position isn’t good for your knees or you don’t enjoy it, there are plenty of other positions you can assume while giving oral sex. Exploring various positions can help you discover which positions are most comfortable for specific techniques and circumstances, and your partner can receive different visual and physical stimuli when you’re in different positions too.
Some other positions include:
- Ross’ chair position – your partner is sitting down while you’re giving them a blowjob
- Cinema position – you and your partner are sitting side-by-side, like in the cinema, and you’re leaning over while seated to perform oral sex on them.
- Thigh pillow position – your partner lies down on their side with their lower leg in front of his upper leg while you’re lying down on your side and resting your head on his thigh (using his thigh as a pillow) while using your mouth to perform oral sex.
- The classic 69 – your partner is lying down flat while you’re on top (or underneath), mirroring their position, so head towards their feet and performing oral sex while they have the option of performing oral sex on you too.
Use sex toys
Another way to elevate the oral sex experience is to incorporate other types of stimulation, like those from a sex toy. Cock rings can help penis owners maintain harder and longer erections and increase sensations. Up the ante and try a vibrating cock ring, like Tenuto. This wearable sex toy sits at the base of a penis and sends targeted vibrations to your partner’s penis, perineum, and balls for surround-sound stimulation, now couple that with your oral skills and you’ve got the perfect recipe for an absolutely mind-blowing orgasm.
Mind the teeth
The penis is incredibly sensitive. Not everyone enjoys the same sensations, so it’s good practice to take caution when performing oral sex that your teeth don’t graze or skin the penis in your zeal. Wrap your lips around your teeth and make your lips act as a soft barrier when your partner’s penis is in your mouth to avoid accidental scraps.
However, some people like gentle grazing of teeth on their penis in a controlled and anticipated manner. Be sure to talk to your partner about their comfort level before attempting anything that could cause pain or alarm them.
Deep-throating is when the entire length of the penis travels to the back of your throat. It’s like a sexy vanishing act, and like any ‘magic,’ Deep-throating is considered an advanced skill because it requires practice to bypass your gag reflex. Most people have a gag reflex, also called the pharyngeal reflex, which is a biological defensive mechanism to keep our air passages clear and prevent choking or suffocating.
The gag reflex is a throat contraction that happens when something touches the back of your throat or tongue, the area around your tonsils, or the roof of your mouth. The gag reflex is a reflex, so it’s easily activated. With practice, you can learn to control your reflex to allow deep-throating without feeling nauseous, especially when dealing with a larger penis.
Deep throating can feel highly pleasurable for your partner, and depending on the amount of practice, it can feel rewarding to you as well, like a sexy mission accomplished.
A helpful reminder: Make sure you’re breathing through your nose when attempting to deep-throat. Please don’t force anything. No amount of pleasure is worth choking or tearing the tissue in your throat.
Giving compliments during oral sex can heighten your partner’s arousal and yours as well. Men are human too and may become self-conscious during oral sex for several reasons. Relaxation is key to enjoying the oral sex experience, so reassure your partner verbally that you’re into giving them pleasure.
Tell them how turned on you are, comment on the firmness or texture of their penis, and how you enjoy the act of giving pleasure. Boost his confidence by showing enthusiasm, and it could have a very pleasant effect on the turn of events.
Make noise, generously
Make noise! Moaning and other sex noises are primal and instinctual responses to pleasure. Sex noises are sexy because they act as a litmus for how aroused you are by certain activities. Show your enthusiasm in moans, groans, and facial expressions. Moaning during sexual activity increases arousal in men and women, so you can send positive and reassuring feedback to your partner by moaning.
Open a dialogue
Since the goal is to give the best blowjob to your partner, we encourage you to ask for your partner’s feedback after an oral sex session and communicate. This way, you can determine which techniques, strokes, rhythm, or positions are most pleasurable to them, troubleshoot anything that didn’t work, and receive a better understanding of how to contribute to keeping things fun and exciting in your sex life.
To spit or to swallow?
One of the most common questions related to blowjobs is whether you should spit or swallow your partner’s semen. The answer is: it depends entirely on your comfort level. If you’re comfortable letting your partner ejaculate in your mouth and would like to swallow, then go for it! If swallowing isn’t your thing, that’s understandable and respectable. Communicate your boundaries before the act to cater to any expectations.
All this hype about giving the best blowjob may sound intimidating but taking full command of a penis and eliciting pleasure from your partner can feel empowering for many. Remember that the goal of any sexual activity should be pleasure, even for the giver. The best blowjobs come from confidence, enjoying the moment, practicing, communicating with your partner, and exploring new experiences together.